Kyrie Whispers

There is no absence of sorrow and grief these days.
And so, last night,
I walked out onto the darkness
With nothing but Kyrie Eleison on my lips.

Kyrie for this neighbor I do not know:
Whose sorrows may have been as deep as mine at one time,
Who feels that prayers are not enough,
And a Kyrie for my own despair,
Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison

Kyrie for friends:
Struggling with parents with Alzheimers,
Longing for a son who is moving to another continent,
Grieving the loss of a spouse,
Saddened by a hostile congregation,
Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison

Kyrie for my country:
Boston victims, the witnesses, the first responders,
Mourners of Sandy Hook victims who still grieve,
Those who perpetuate fear and anger
Those whose hate speech incites such violence
Those who believe that guns will keep them safe,
Peacemakers who struggle against the tide,
Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison

Kyrie for our whole world
Innocents who are killed by our drone attacks,
People dying from hunger,
The one feeling so desolate right now, holding a gun to his head
And for the one who will find his body,
Bullies, warring nations, fanatics,
A planet - our planet - dying by our own greed and consumption,
For enemies and friends - all the same,
Kyrie again and again

Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison
Kyrie eleison

I whisper, these words on my lips
With every step I take
Longing for you to make us whole again,
Aching for you to take away our darkness
Bringing light.

A Kyrie for us all

Storm

Today I am moved by the words to this hymn, #703 in the Evangelical Book of Worship.(I am surprised to see that the text is by Marty Haugen!)

There are storms in our lives and at times we wonder if God even listens, if God even cares. Again, I am reminded of the cross - and how God not only listens, but experiences our pain, walking with us through the pain to the other side.

O GOD, WHY ARE YOU SILENT?

O God, why are you silent? I cannot hear your voice;

the proud and strong and violent by life's relentless storm;

you promised you would hold me with tenderness and care.

Draw near, O Love, enfold me, and ease the pain I bear.

My hope lies bruised and battered, my wounded heart is torn;

my spirit spent and shattered by life's relentless storm;

will you not bend to hear me, my cries from deep within?

Have you no word to cheer me when night is closing in?

Through endless nights of weeping, through weary days of grief,

my heart is in your keeping, my comfort, my relief.

Come, share my tears and sadness, come, suffer in my pain,

oh, bring me home to gladness, restore my hope again.

May pain draw forth compassion, let wisdom rise from loss;

oh, take my heart and fashion the image of your cross;

then may I know your healing through healing that I share,

your grace and love revealing, your tenderness and care.

Grief

Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes waste away from grief, my soul and body also. For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my misery, and my bones waste away. Psalm 31:9-10





It breaks my heart
To see your heart break
Tears overflowing
For one we love
Who has lost his way for a time.

This aching does not go away
Does not resolve easily, but
Simmers deep down.
I try to hold it together.
One of us needs to,
Or so I think.

We watch him
Stumble,
Repeat mistakes
And wonder to ourselves
If this will ever change.

At times we cling to hope,
This time, surely this time
He understands,
He will move on,
He will take that step forward.

But, it is only the baby steps
We can truly hope for -
While we agonize over
The larger steps going backward.
Yet we are still there,
Aching for him and at the same time
Cheering him on.

God, you know our sorrow
And pain.
Is this how you see us -
As children taking baby steps forward
And giant steps back?

Do you cry for us, God?

Do you cheer us on?

Sorrow

Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes waste away from grief, my soul and body also. For my life is spent with sorrow, and my years with sighing; my strength fails because of my misery, and my bones waste away. Psalm 31:9-10

Who hasn't felt like this at one time or another? A sorrow so deep that it weighs so heavily on the heart?  One of the things I like about the book of Psalms is how these prayers, these songs - though written long, long ago - are just as relevant today. For me, the Psalms are a powerful way to connect with my ancestors in the faith.

I took these pictures this past week when it seemed to rain every day. To me, they visually express some of the grief that cries out in this psalm. (Click on the photo for a larger view).

My life is spent with sorrow...

...and my years with sighing...

....my bones waste away...